Readers Story: My Boyfriend Is Obsessed with Sex
Dear Danni,
I’m really starting to worry about my boyfriend Daniel. We’ve been together for just over a year now and I’ve noticed that over time his need to have sex has increased. With work and uni I only used to see him every few days so it was only natural that we would do the deed whenever we saw each other. I graduated from uni a few months ago and ever since then I’ve been seeing Daniel a lot more.
I see him almost every day now and he still wants to have sex every time we meet. I do think of myself as a sexual person but having sex everyday just for the sake of it is really starting to bug me and I don’t know how to tell him that his sexual needs are making me unhappy. I know he loves me and really cares about me which is what makes telling him I don’t want to have sex all the time that much harder.
How can I tell him I’m unhappy without hurting his feelings?
Melissa
(Age 23)
ADVICE
Hi Melissa,
It sounds like you really care about Daniel and it is often hard to tell someone who means a lot to you that what they’re doing is making you unhappy. You’ve been with Daniel for over a year now and you both obviously are starting to realise that there may be a future to your relationship and you may feel that saying what you think will ruin your relationship but really it may help to make it stronger. Don’t necessarily confront Daniel about what’s been happening but maybe try and not have sex with him so often. He can only ask and at the most you’ll say no. After you turn him down a few times I’m sure he’ll bring up the conversation all on his own and you won’t have to even worry. When he does, let him know how you feel, tell him that having so much sex is tiring for you and that while you understand that he may be in the mood 24/7 that doesn’t really mean that your libido is working on that same time clock. If it helps, try and arrange a trip away with you and some friends, the distance away from your boyfriend will allow you to figure out if its just sex that he wants or if he’s just really in love with you.
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